Im very worried about my eating options there. if I will be comfortable with the food and the amt of exercise. i guess its all about the control i will be able to have over my meal plan and exercise routine. which I am finally comfortable and doing overall pretty well here.
I feel better now, having talked to my mom and sister, but a few hours ago I was crying from pure anxiety for not knowing what to expect.
I felt that I was for sure going to balloon up and get super fat when i visit. that id be bombarded with sweets and fats, my fear foods. i know this is irrational and my ed talking, but the feeling is so immense its hard to avoid and ignore.
I talked with my mom and implemented my meal plans and my comfort zone. I will continue to exercise a healthy amount. I will eat only foods I am okay with. I will not be pressured to eat foods which will lead me to relapse.
It will be a challenge but change is inevitable. I am better now, I'm still slightly worried. but everything will be okay.
I must remind myself: that I AM an adult, and can make my own decisions. I must chose what is right for my recovery, and I will not be pressured to do anything I don't want to. I am in control. I can chose my decisions. I have the power to make the choices that are in my best interest.
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