Exercise

Well I am reading the book, Willpowers not Enough. It's about recovering from any addiction incorporating the 12-step concepts. Of accepting you're an addict and can't control it. You can only follow the recovery model and be honest to stay on track. Following the rules because you can't trust your own judgment.

I realize that my addictive behavior with exercise is greatly taking away from my life. I spend time and dedicate my schedule due to my exercise regime. I replace relationships with it. I end up feeling very guilty and shameful about this. I feel like others are very upset at me and I am upset at myself. It's very isolating. More so then Anorexia was.

But I am just very scared of how much weight I'll put on without some exercise. I do not want to gain 3 lbs a week. Even 2 is overwhelming. And since my meal plan is so much with the pro bars and all, I feel that exercise not only is a reaction to my compulsive behavior but protects me from gaining uncontrollably. Perhaps I should talk with Sunny about reducing the pro bars if I do not exercise as much? But will I be able to withhold from exercise? If it's not something I can control then I can't. Though I want to.