I'm really trying to cut back on exercise. What a surprise right?! Yesterday I looked over my exercise limit mid day after school and I had only walked 75 mins. I freaked out. I went for a walk then to make sure at least I walked 90 mins. So I reached 100 mins for the day. I took a break though in the middle of my walk around the park and wrote. I asked myself why am I trying to resist gaining when supposedly that is my goal? Exercise is only keeping me from health.
So I calmed down a bit. But only after I reached closer to 90mins. I know that one day won't make a difference. That going only 75 mins or 60mins won't make a huge difference and there won't be a difference in my weight the next day. But man oh man, it feels quite the opposite.
And quite frankly I don't know what to do when these triggers arise. Books say that one needs to remove themselves from the triggering situation. But what is the situation? Being at the park? I guess that's it. When at the park I'm free to walk just another 5mins, another 10. Another 20 if I wanted. I guess I need to avoid the park, even though when I go there my initial reason forgoing is to sit and read and write. But it takes 20-30minutes to get there and back home.
But I like to leave the house. I don't like being at home during the day. So I leave and the park is a close, convenient place. Where else is there to go?
I need to plan my day a bit more. Besides the routine of morning and nights. Those I have down pact. But the day is when there's usually free-time and I don't know how to spend it. So...I leave for a walk. I need to plan my afternoons especially after lunch times and after noon snack time. Dinner is also at times a vulnerable time for me. It's like after meals I feel there's nothing else to do. Like that was the ONE BIG EVENT and the only reason to be at home. And after I just need to leave.
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