apathy

Since Ive Been in WA I have lost motivation. I basically have given up my meal plan. I have only done my night time snacks twice, my first two days, and only one pro bar.

A lot of times I feel angry and upset, depressed and just generally unhappy. And I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because Mom and RB have told me how much better I look.When the wght I'm at now is the same wght as when I left. It's like, HELLO DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER! Also, Mom told me I'm still a little thin.Just a little? Does that now mean I can stop gaining? A little thin is okay right?

I guess I am restricting to prove a point. To hurt her? Ruthanne? Myself? To prove that I am better off on my own then with them? IDK.

I'm flying home the 20th. About 2 more wks.

Though my life there is kinda'lonely, but I hope when school starts and I find a job,things will be better and I will stay occupied.