Today

Today my aunt Peggy is going to make dinner. Enchiladas.

I have difficulty enjoying food not made by me, I'm always scared of exchanges and fear foods like butter and oil.

I have a lot of fear revolving around fats.

My therapist says to talk with Peggy when she makes family dinners about accomodating a bit to my comfortability.

Last weekend she made hamburgers and bread. With lots and lots of butter and oil. I restricted terribly.

I must be comfortable with my meals in order to not trigger a lapse or slip.

So my goal today is to:

Enjoy dinner

Talk with Peggy about making meals (using less butter, less cheese and/or putting the cheese on the side)

I need to challenge myself; so I should still incorporate some cheese. My goal is to eat normally, to enjoy regular food.

Don't over exercise

Do not restrict at dinner

I hope I do okay. I take responsibility.

I have been eating my snack during the day, which was a goal I set for myself. I need to stick to a schedule and not negotiate.

I am taking responsibility by doing this. By eating when hungry, not when starving.

I must admit though, eating my snack does help with the strong since of hunger before dinner.

I don't like feeling starved of course, but I do it to prove control, that I can deny my hunger and appetite. This is a distorted thought and a false since of control.

Controlling hunger/appetite does not prove control.

Ill let ya know how it goes.

-Amy