So, I exercised the majority of my limit already. Came home planning possibly on inviting Kelly to go out with me. And later tonight I can finish my walking, since I usually go out to walk at night anyways, this way, I won't as likely go over.
But no one is home yet. What can I do? Joe I feel has rejected me. He's fed up with me blowing him off. Which I accept. He was a passing friend I suppose. He came and is going. I'll just wait for another friend to arise.
What I can do today?:
Walk to open house with Kelly.
Walk Pepper with Kelly.
Pool.
Movie.
Paint nails.
Yoga.
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On another note, I am holding off lunch. I guess its rather late already, but I don't why exactly. I always try to avoid and put off every meal. I'm doing this because, perhaps I am scared. I feel discomfort when addressing a meal. Like I must be careful. Like at any moment something can go wrong and cause havoc.
For some reason I can't quite address is why I avoid Peg and Kelly. It's like, I feel awkward around them when I am eating and making a meal. I don't like to be home when they get home. I always try to sneak around them interacting with me. I'm isolating myself when I still want and need to be around them.
I feel like...right when they see me they'll think something bad. They'll want me to do something for them, they'll expect something from me. If I am not around, then they won't jump to judgments. I will just be absent from their thoughts. I'd rather hide and be a hermit, then face my discomfort. Which is irrational I know.
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