Rest day

Hopefully so. I'm trying to lend today towards relaxing and not having to do anything. Not making lists up. Don't feel obligated to exercise.

Hopefully I can just enjoy myself.

Last night I walked over...I'm vulnerable when there's nothing to do except to wait for the next thing. As in: Dinner.

I waited and stalled at home till dinner and no one was home. I held off walking for awhile till I told myself that I will go to church. I left 30mins early,walked for an extra 30 mins, and then went to church. I didn't have an extra snack to counteract the walking. I know I should today though. Just add like an extra fruit?

I really need to get a hold of my exercise.

When I walk I feel, like I am doing something productive. It feel good to just walk. It feels as though I'm walking my troubles away. Just purging them out. I know this is distorted though. Rationally, the walking is holding me back from progressing in recovery.

I need to focus on NOW!

Stop preparing myself for the worst future imaginable. I will always get by. Just because things are like they are now, doesn't mean time won't find a way to change the situation.

I will soon get a job. I will save money and rekindle my savings.

I will become healthier, one decision at a time.

I think I need to list my daily accomplishments in recovery. Focus on the things I did right other then beating myself up over the perfectionism I have towards doing recovery perfectly.

'Recovery is a process, NOT AN EVENT!'

But, things will end up okay in the end.

My family will be here always to support me, and be there when I need them.

I must trust my meal plan and not the ed. Meal plan is gold. That's it. It's set in stone. STOP trying to manipulate it.