I hate having lunch when the environment is not completely as I'd like. I wait and wait till the moments comfortable, but the problem is the comfortable moment might arrive an hours late, or even later. I put lunch off till I am comfortable with eating, which can lead to me not following my meal schedule. I guess I see eating as this epic event. Instead of just a time when I can nourish my body because it needs it.
I really need to get a hold of this. At school I get worried that if I eat too soon, I will be hungry. I don't like being hungry.
I get nervous about feeling so. I guess I fear that I will over eat. I get embarrassed if my stomach growls around people, and so I always hold off eating till the last moment thus the food will keep me fuller for a longer duration of time. It's a way of protecting myself?
But the reality is that I will always become hungry again after eating eventually. Food never keeps people full forever.
When at school I need to bring veggies, and fruit for snacking, maybe a protein bar. And my lunch of course which will be a sandwich of sorts. Also drink water.
I can control this. I can handle this. Hunger is not the end of the world.
It's weird to me that I don't like hunger. Around people I guess.
I'd assume someone with the same problem would be more bulimic or an over eater. Eating lots of food to make sure one doesn't get hungry. But instead I control it by restricting. it's as if, I'm scared of being hungry after eating because it triggers me worrying about never sating my appetite, so to rationalize my hunger I under eat? So then I can blame my hunger on the fact I under ate opposed to facing the risk of eating enough, but still being hungry.
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