weigh in

I weighed myself this morning. 86.2 lbs. So since the20th of July I'm up from 84.5-84.7 Considering now that I have more food in my stomach, I haven't really gained anything. I suspect I gained a pound or two first couple weeks from the shock of actually eating but I think my metabolism has now gotten back on track and thus I haven't gained anymore considering exercise.

I think the reason I have been trying to switch up my meal plan is because I want to prove to self that I can follow meal plan, but in smaller portions. Since I am anxious about always being hungry.

But obviously it's not working.

I haven't been including all my proteins and fats. I lately have been combining the fats and proteins and saying that's enough. I have been considering calories now when planning meals. Which I know is wrong. I shouldn't decide upon meals when considering calories. Because if I know the calorie amount I will end up going lower and lower.

I feel in control though. Which I take a cue that the ED is steering the reigns more and more.

I am just so tired of following the meal plan exactly. I wanted flexibility with my meal plan a bit more. I guess I should talk with Sunny my RD about this instead of trying to control it myself. I will email her asap.