The deal was though that he would take me off it if I lost weight. I didn't see him last month so he didn't see my wght drop. I gained wght this month but am still worried that he will cut me off.
I am planning on water loading so my wght is a bit higher so that he will still let me take the Adderall.
I'm scared of not being on it. I haven't not taken it during my recovery, which I'm doing so well in.
It helps me focus and stay on top of things, lifts my mood and such. I'm nervous that the lack of Adderall and the additional stress of WA will only hinder me more and cause more discomfort and possible slips during my trip.
Besides all that:
My goal today is to exercise only 90 mins.
What am I fearful of about exercise?
I feel like something bad will happen if I don't exercise enough. It's a ritual of sorts, an obsession I turn to, to feel in control and balanced. I feel if I don't reach my set amount things will be off kilter and things won't be 'right'.
But I need to transition and start a healthy relationship with exercise.
What's a healthy amount of exercise??!
60-90 mins/day 3-5 days a week?
That's what the professionals recommend.
I'm nervous that I won't ever be able to find time for that amount.
But I know I will; realistically. I am in control here, and I make my own choices. There is enough time in the day for me to get a healthy amount of exercise.
And some days I should take a break. Not walk so much. The body needs a rest period.
I'm still so black and white about exercise.
Exercise every day for this length of time=good, of top of things, in control, right.
But I am the grey area. I don't need exercise at this point, and when I'm at a healthy spot, I can exercise accordingly and be able to take a break a couple times a week so my body can re-coop. Nothing bad will happen if I don't exercise.
Goals today:
90 mins walking
Have fats with meals
Have extra exchanges with meals (don't save them for later)
Stick with exact portion sizes
Stick with exact portion sizes
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