But yesterday and today I'm starting to notice my weight gain. I don't feel fat necessarily. Just unfamiliar with my new body. I've gained 20 lbs, its just different.
My pants fit better and I feel healthier. I look healthier.
I'm just telling myself that one day I won't have to be putting on weight anymore. One day I will maintain and just focus on accepting my body as it is and have trust for myself that I will continue on with my stabilized m.p. and be able to love and accept myself as a healthy woman.
I'm gaining because:
Extra Cal's from high cal fruit. (Like dried fruit and such)
Pb
Extra exchanges (oat meal at night, extra servings of food I wouldn't normally have etc...)
Protein bars (520 Cal's extra a day)
All the extra Cal's I get through out the day is what is causing me gaining. Not what I would normally eat.
Exercised only 100 mins yesterday. Today my hip is killing me. My body is aching from all the walking. It doesn't help that I wear shitty shoes.
I'm way more relieved though that I have a 90 day prescription for Adderall and that I am moving back here for another semester or so. I'm looking forward to school and finding a P/T job when I return. I'll have money and I'll pay for therapy out of pocket till January.
Money comes and goes. Therapy is essential and I must not compromise my health and mental well-being on something as temporary as money.
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