There's still a part of me that is unfamiliar with it. I'm not 'mad' or 'upset'. Just...not use to it.
My stomach is a bit rounder, but I see it as softness. I see it as health and womanly shape. I'm viewing it as beauty and authenticity.
My body is getting healthier and stronger and I should accept it and see my body as a tool to propel myself in life, not something that is holding me back or hindering my potential.
Anorexia is what is holding me back from all that I am capable.
I can do many things with a healthy, strong body. With an Anorexic body I can not do anything but wait for deaths invite.
I love myself. My body is changing and I will accept and love it no matter what. I deserve to take care of myself. One day i will meet a boy who will love my curves and soft extra skin seeing it as comfort and security, not fat. The extra skin gives me endurance, energy, comfort, warmth, security, insurance and so much more.
Lord I pray that I continue to love my body and recognize when I am acting out destructively. I pray to be able to correct myself and instead of expressing my discomfort and stress out on my body, but to reach out and heal my worries through positive ways that are in best interest for my life and recovery.
I should not hurt my body in a way that will have negative permanent effects for feelings of temporary of discomfort.
I pray to acknowledge that change will always occur and I will always adapt. I need to trust myself, God, my body, my meal plan and the recovery process. One day I will be at a place where I can relax and not going through so much physical change.
Goals:
Finish snack at scheduled time.
No more exercise then 1hr and 50 mins.
Hang with Joe?
Look up volunteer opportunities in WA.
House work.
Find things to do with my free time instead of walking.
(I need to find things to do to feel productive besides exercise)
Wish me luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment