I'm pretty nervous about him deciding not to. I don't want to continue on with out it. I've been doing over all pretty well with it, and am worried that I won't do so well with out taking it.
I know this is an ED behavior, but I'm planning on water loading for my weight. So it seems higher. Just to put his mind at ease and to show that I am doing well now despite my first months weight loss.
I am so exhausted today. Yesterday I was as well. I think that's a sign that I am exercising still too much. My goal yesterday was to aim for only 90 mins. But I reached 2 hrs still.
I will set the goal again today. Only 90 mins.
It might be easier since I have plans today and thus might find it difficult to fit 2 hrs in.
I do have less stress though since my decision made about me coming back here after Summer. I know what to expect here. I know I will be in charge of my meals here and I know the food.
Right now, this is best. To stay familiar. I can handle 3-4 weeks in WA and when I get back and stabilize my weight hopefully I will grow more comfortable with being flexible with my schedule and meal plan.
I'm looking forward for when i return, I can get a job, by that time Christmas season will have brought stores to hire employees and I'll attend school Tuesday's and Thursday's starting September. So I will be busy, making money and be social. I pray I make good friends and hopefully find a bf. I want a relationship that will be good for me. But I won't rush anything. I'll just let it happen and have faith in God that he'll send me the right guy at the right time.
I know he won't let me down. I depend on God. I depend on myself and my family. They're all supportive and want the best for me.
I just hope that when I'm in Seattle I don't end up falling in love with it so much more, that I impulsively decided to stay. I think though I can trust myself to make the right decision and stay clear minded and not get swept away with the ideal of Seattle and a big city. The city will still be there when I am ready to move back.
Just make the right decision for me Amy!
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